12.19.14 Some Things I Learned About Dementia – Love them, be kind to them, be sweet even childlike sweet.

10609479_773060536095512_770022682920397739_n Nothing in today’s blog is from any source other than our experience with Mama. She lived in our home during the final stages of Alzheimer’s. While we were moving from one house to another (and doing renovations on the new house) she lived in a local Assisted Living Home. Most of the main points I make below can, and I hope will be, used in your care giving. I’ll share what we did that seemed to work and you take it from there to fit your situation.

This week’s blog started out being about two other topics. However, as I collected information to share and writing pieces to add into these blogs, one thing keeps tugging at me to be shared first.

So here it is: Love them, be kind to them, be sweet even childlike sweet. Always strive for patience and calmness. Pray often for these things. It may not be in your nature to love others, be kind to others or be sweet to others. If not, I beg that you try it during this time. fake it if you must, but be loving, kind and sweet to them.

BE LOVING

Are caregivers saints?? No, but sometimes it will feel like everyone expects you to be one and you may feel heavily weighed down with this responsibility. My solace was knowing that God is my Savior, my King, my everything and He would never leave me alone as I cared for Mama. My pastor was a great comfort during that time. My husband was my hero loving Mama like she was his own Mama and allowing our household to be completely turned upside down for a long time. Normal took on a new meaning and I can’t stress that enough. We learned to laugh a lot and be silly to break the stress that sometimes hung in the air. My sister was my primary relief and was wonderful about coming to stay with mama as often as I needed her to. She’s my only sister, so it fell on us to care for mama in her last years, as she10734192_10152473918576198_829463759479924163_n so willingly loved and cared for us during our childhood years and on into our adult years.

These Alzheimer’s patients (I’d like to call them victims) didn’t make the choice to lose themselves to this disease that eats away at their true being, a little piece at a time. They are very dependent on their caregivers for a lot during the middles stages and for everything during the final stage.

It is easy to say “They don’t know what’s what, so why even care?” Can I say strongly enough “Shut it”. Don’t even go there if you have a loved one in need of your care. Most likely they were one of your primary caregiver when you were a baby growing into a child, teenager and didn’t let go until you became an adult. They loved and cared for you then and now is your opportunity to return that love and care.

Making the decision to become the primary caregiver may not have been a choice you made. You may have gotten it by default or you were the only one available. Whatever the reason, you have in your hands the heart and well being of someone for the final years, months and days of their lives. It’s a lot like being a parent, only the roles are reversed now.

Near the latter stages of Alzheimer’s Mama didn’t always know either my sister or I was her daughter, whose house she was living in or even who she was. Then nearer the end she couldn’t speak, walk, or smile any longer. This decline occurred over maybe a month or two so I know we were very blessed at that short period of time.

She had the most beautiful smile, I just had to share that!

During this time I started calling mama “pretty girl”, touching her face lovingly with the back of my hand, and loved her like a child loves to be loved. No matter what was happening in the rest of the house or how many times she’d call me into her room for the same thing over and over I “tried” to always enter her room with a smile on my face. She responded with sweet smiles and if she had been agitated like they sometimes are, that would stop.

10606322_770140433054189_4461898516402014795_nWhen they leave the world of reality for their bizarre little world, creating peace and happiness in some form for them is key.

I had two little beanie babies that we gave Mama as her babies to pet and love, and she was so happy with them. Mama loved to be needed and be helpful to others. She took right to taking care of the babies in the same way she use to take care of us. We would talk to them and she’d tell me stories about them and the joy on her face during those times was so heartwarming.

When she’d tell me some absolute foolishness I’d go there with her and we’d have a grand old conversation.

Most people benefit from the touch of another person. These wonderful people are no exception. Mama often applied hand lotion to her hands pre-Alzheimer’s and her hands were always soft. She responded so well to having that done while living with Alzheimers that we made a regular practice of doing that. Just that simple act calmed and soothed her spirit. Don’t just stop with the hands and arms (and while doing that do it slowly so they enjoy it longer) every now and then do their feet and legs. The stimulation this gives them is so therapeutic to giving them another moment of light in their otherwise darkening world.

In one of next week’s topics I’ll share more about how we tried to provide a peaceful loving environment for Mama based on her love for the Lord.

Your Alzheimer’s patient isn’t my mom, so your choices will be different, but they all deserve all our love and kindness. You will see that message in my different forms throughout the weeks this blog is written.

index Please come back next time when I’ll share two topics: Learning about your loved ones lives before it’s too late and how to use their passions from when life was good to bring some joy into their current lives If you want to get an email whenever I post a blog (I write about other things, not just Alzheimer’s) find the “FOLLOW” box which is usually to the right hand side somewhere, enter your email and respond when the confirmation email is sent to you.

If you are in need of prayer for yourself, in your role as a caregiver, or if you have any specific questions please send me a comment with whatever information you want to share or ask about. I’ll say again that I’m not expert but I probably experienced with my mom a lot of things you’re going through and will try my best to help. If I don’t know the answer I will tell you I don’t know. I’ll never judge, I’ve been judged enough to last a life time and would never do that to someone else. My email address is rosalyn@selu.edu if that is an easier way to communicate.

Until next time,

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12.12.14 Some Things I Learned About Dementia – Christine Bryden: I have Mid-stage Dementia. Here’s What I truly Need.

Christine Bryden: I have Mid-stage Dementia. Here’s What I truly Need.

t081026-Through-W3648The video below is exceptional. I can share what we experienced caring for my mom, but Christine Bryden has this disease and is doing everyone a service by sharing what she’s learned and experienced.

Christine Bryden was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 46. At the time, she was a single mother with 3 girls, as well as a senior executive to the Australian Prime Minister. Six years into her dementia, see her talk about what it feels like and what you can do to help.

She, so very well, explains what Alzheimer’s patients truly need. The video is almost 30 minutes long but I encourage everyone to watch it. Caregivers, family members and friends can learn so much from this. Her advice is exceptional, especially since she’s actually living the life of Dementia.

I have not read her book Dancing with Dementia so I can’t recommend it. However, if you want to check it out, here’s a link to where you can purchase it from Amazon for $18.32 at:

Click on the photo below to watch the video.

christine bryden

I first saw this on Alzheimer’s and Dementia Weekly, a great resource. I will share some of their articles here but they have so much more than I can pass along so I encourage you to check it out! You can subscribe to receive weekly emails loaded with information. Their website is:

http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/

indexAn informational document called “The 10 Rights of People with Dementia” seems to go well with the video above and can be viewed by clicking on the 10 graphic below.

index Romans 8:37-39: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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Until next time, my friends:BE LOVING

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12.05.14 Some Things I Learned About Dementia – Drastically Changing Vision

twotypes of people

Once you see how their vision is affected in the first part, you’ll want to do whatever you can to be understanding about their new vision.

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distorted vision

I had no idea that Alzheimer’s disease changes how you actually see things. This is one of the things we did not know about when Mama was with us. And one of the things I really wish I had.

If you don’t share anything else with others, please pass along this video to all your friends on facebook or through email. It makes perfect sense out of a lot of odd behaviors and odd things they say, but people have to know it.

Dementia affects many parts of of the body as it progresses. Sometimes, it can be difficult to understand the changes your loved one is going through. In this video, a care-giver explains the visual changes that occur during dementia. Click on the picture below to view the video.

changes in vision

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Please come back next time when I’ll share another important aspect of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s. If you want to get an email whenever I post a blog (I write about other things, not just Alzheimer’s) find the “FOLLOW” box which is usually to the right hand side somewhere, enter your email and respond when the confirmation email is sent to you.

If you are in need of prayer for yourself, in your role as a caregiver, or if you have any specific questions please send me a comment with whatever information you want to share or ask about. I’ll say again that I’m not an expert but I probably experienced with my mom a lot of things you’re going through and will try my best to help. If I don’t know the answer I will tell you I don’t know. I’ll never judge, I’ve been judged enough to last a life time and would never do that to someone else. My email address is rosalyn@selu.edu if that is an easier way to communicate.

Sparkling-christmas-divider

2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

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